Ramayana by Bill Gates

Here is what Ramayana will look like if written by Bill gates in
kalyug!!!!!!!


LAN LAN ago, in the SYSTEM of I/O-dhya, there ruled a
PROCESSOR named DOS-rat. Once he EXCUTED a great sacrifice PROGRAM
after which his queens gave an OUTPUT of four SUNS - RAM, LSI-man,
BUG-rat, and SED-rughana.

RAM the eldest was a MICROCHIP with excellent MEMORY.
His brothers,however, were only PERIPHERAL ICS.
Once when RAM was only 16MB, he married princess C-ta.
12 years passed and DOS-rat decided to INSTALL RAM as his successor.

However, queen CIE/CAE, who was once offered a boon by
DOS-rat for a life saving HELP COMMAND, took this opportunity at
the instigation of her BIOSed maid, and insisted that her son BUG-rat
be installed and that RAM be BOOTED to the forest for 14 years. At
this cruel and unexpected demand, a SURGE passed thru DOS-rat and
due to FATAL ERROR he collapsed, power-less. RAM agreed to LOG INTO
forest and C-ta insisted to LOGIN with him. LSI-man was also resolved
on LOGGING IN with his brother.

The forest was the dwelling of SPARC-nakha, the TRANSISTOR of RAW-wan,
PROCESSOR of LAN-ka. Attracted by RAM's stature, she proposed that he
marry her. RAM politely denied. Perceiving C-ta to be the SOURCE CODE
for her distress, she hastened to kill her.
Weeping SPARC-nakha fled to LAN-ka, where RAW-wan, moved by
TRANSISTOR's
plight, approached his uncle MAR-icha.

MAR-icha REPROGRAMMED himself into the form of a golden stag and drew
RAM deep into the forest. Finally, tired of chase, RAM shot the deer,
who, with his last breath, cried out desperately for LSI-man in RAM's
voice. Fooled by this VIRTUAL RAM's SOUND, C-ta urged LSI-man to his
brother's aid. Catching the opportunity, RAW-wan DELINKED C-ta from her

LIBRARY and changed her ROOT DIRECTORY (or HOME PAGE)
to LAN-ka.


INTERVAL


RAM and LSI-man started LINEAR SEARCHING for the missing C-ta all over
the forest. They made friendship with the SYSTEM ADMINISTRATOR of
forest SU-greev and his powerful co-processor Ha-NEUMAN. SU-greev
agreed to help RAM.

SU-greev ordered his PROGRAMMERS to use powerful BINARY & BOOLEAN
SEARCH techniques to FIND the missing C-ta. His PROGRAMMERS SEARCHED
all around the INTER-NETworked forests. Many tried to EXCITE the birds
and animals not to forget the WEBWLERS (Insects) and tried to INFO SEEK

something about C-ta. Some of them even shouted YAHOO but they all
ended up with NOT FOUND MESSAGES.

Several other SERACH techniques proved useless. Ha-NEUMAN devised a
RISCy TECHNOLOGY and used it to cross the seas at an astonishing CLOCK
SPEED. Soon Ha-NEUMAN DOWNLOADED himself into LAN-ka.
After doing some local SEARCH, he found C-ta weeping under a TREE
STRUCTURE. Ha-NEUMAN used a LOGIN ID (ring) to identify himself to
C-ta.

After DECRYPTING the KEY, C-ta believed in him and asked him to send a
STATUS_OK MESSAGE to RAM. Meanwhile all the raakshasa BUGS around C-ta
captured Ha-NEUMAN and tried to DELETE him using pyro-techniques. But
Ha-NEUMAN managed to spread chaos by using the VIRUS 'FIRE'. Ha-NEUMAN
happily pressed ESCAPE from LAN-ka and conveyed all the STATUS
MESSAGES to RAM and SU-greev.

RAW-wan decided to take the all powerful RAM head-on and prepared for
the battle. One of the RAW-wan's SUN almost DELETED RAM and LSI-man
with a powerful brahma-astra. But Ha-NEUMAN resorted to some ACTIVE-X
gradients and REBOOTED RAM and LSI-man. RAM used the SOURCE CODE
secrets of RAW-wan and once for all wiped out RAW-wan's presence on
earth.

After the battle, RAM got INSTALLED in I/O-dhya and
spreaded his MICRO SOFT WORKS and other USER FRIENDLY PROGRAMS to all
USERS and every one lived happily everafter.

Thus ends the RAM-ayana.co

Blue - One Love

(yeahhhh alrite)
SY: It's kinda funny
How life can change
Can flip 180 in a matta of days

ANT: Sometimes love works in
Mystertious ways
One day you wake up
Gone without a trace

LEE: I refuse to give up
I refuse to give in
You're my everything
I don't wanna give up
I don't wanna give in
So everybody sing

ALL: One love for the mothers prider
One love for the times we cried
One love gotta stay alive... I will survive

One love for the city streets
One love for the hip hop beats
Oh I do believe
One love is all we need

DUNK: Late at night I'm still wide awake
Feelin this is one more than I can take

ANT: I thought my heart could
Never break
Now I know that's one big mistake

LEE: I refuse to give up
I refuse to give in
You're my everything
I don't wanna give up
I don't wanna give in
Everybody sing

ALL: One love for the mothers pride
One love for the times we cried
One love gotta stay alive.... Oh I will survive

One love for the city streets
One love for the hip hop beats
One love oh I do believe
One love in all we need

Baby just love me love love me
Babyu just hold me hold me hold me
Oooh love me love me love me
Oh yeah... One love
Baby just love me love me love me (love me)
Baby just hold me hold me hold me
Oooh love me love me love me

One love for the mothers pride
One love for the times we cried
One love gotta stay alive.... Oh I will survive

One love for the city streets
One love for the hip hop beats
One love oh I do believe
One love in all we need

One love for the mothers pride
One love for the times we cried
One love gotta stay alive.... Oh I will survive

One love for the city streets
One love for the hip hop beats
One love oh I do believe
One love in all we need

chorus to fade
ONE LOOOVE YEEEEEAH

santa banta in a boat !!!

Santa and Banta were adrift in a life boat following a dramatic escape from a burning freight vessel. While rummaging through the boat’s provisions, Santa stumbled across an old lamp.

Secretly hoping that a Genie would appear, he rubbed the lamp vigorously. To the amazement of the castaways, one did come forth!
This particular Genie; however, stated that she could only deliver one wish, not the standard three.
Without giving much thought to the matter Santa blurted out, "Turn the entire ocean into beer!"
Immediately the Genie clapped her hands with a deafening crash, and the entire sea turned to the finest brew.
Simultaneously, the Genie vanished to her freedom.
Only the gentle lapping of beer on the hull broke the sudden stillness as Santa and Banta considered their circumstances. Banta looked disgustedly at Santa and after a long, tension filled moment, he spoke:
"Nice going! Now we’re going to have to pee in the boat!!"

A few other Jokes !!!

1) A barber gave a haircut to a priest one day. The priest tried to pay for
the haircut but the barber refused saying, "You do God's work." The next
morning the barber found a dozen bibles at the door to his shop.A policeman
came to the barber for a haircut, and again the barber refused payment
saying, "You protect the public." The next morning the barber found a dozen
doughnuts at the door to his shop.A lawyer came to the barber for a haircut,
and again the barber refused payment saying, "You serve the justice system."
The next morning the barber found a dozen lawyers waiting for a haircut!!!


2) A very beautiful girl walked up to a department store's fabric counter and
said, "How much is this?""Only a kiss a meter," replied the smirking man
assistant."That's fine." replied the girl. "I'll take four meters." The
assistant quickly measured the material, wrapped it and then gave it to the
girl. Taking it, the girl turned and pointed to an old man standing beside
her. "My grandpa will pay the bill." she said.



3)The lecturer on evolution had been going on for nearly two hours. then he
started again, and said he:"Let me ask the evolutionist a question --- if we
had tails like a baboon, where are they?""I'll venture an answer, " said an
old lady. "We have worn them off sitting here so long.".



4)A lady lost her handbag in the bustle of shopping at the mall. It was found
by an honest little boy and returned to her. Looking in her purse, she
commented, "Hmmm.... That's funny. When I lost my bag there was a $20 bill
in it. Now there are twenty $1 bills." The boy quickly replied, "That's
right, lady. The last time I found a lady's purse, she didn't have any
change for a reward."

Stats of my Wife !!!!

Full Name: Preity Zinta

Profession: Actress

Education: Graduated in Psychology

Star Sign: Aquarius

DOB: January 31st

Height: 5'5"

Weight: 52 kgs.

Status: Single

Known For: Her Gorgeous Smile

Debut Film: Dil Se

First Hit Film: Soldier with Bobby Deol

Most Serious Role(s): In Sangharsh where she takes Askhay's support to
fight Ashutosh Rana.

Awards & Achievements:

Best Debut Award : for Soldier

Address:
Preity Zinta
C/10A, Ranwar,
Waroda Rd,
Off. Hill Rd,
Bandra (W)
Mumbai 400 050

Boyzone - Words

smile an ever lasting smile
a smile can bring you near to me
don't ever let me find you gone
'cause that would bring a tear to me
this world has lost its glory
let's start a brand new story
now my love
you think that I don't even mean
a single word I say

it's only words
and words are all I have
to take your heart away

talk in ever lasting words
and dedicate them all to me
and I will give you all my life
i'm here if you should call to me
you think that I don't even mean
a single word I say

it's only words
and words are all I have
to take your heart away

it's only words
and words are all I have
to take your heart away

da da da da da da da
da da da da da da da da da da
da da da da da da da
da da da da da da da da da da

this world has lost its glory
let's start a brand new story
now my love
you think that I don't even mean
a single word I say

it's only words
and words are all I have
to take your heart away

it's only words
and words are all I have
to take your heart away

it's only words
and words are all I have
to take your heart away

Savage Garden - Truly Madly Deeply....(another of my favourite song)

Verse 1

I'll be your dream
I'll be your wish
I'll be your fantasy.
I'll be your hope
I'll be your love
Be everything that you need.
I love you more with every breath
Truly madly deeply do..
I will be strong I will be faithful
'Cos I'm counting on a new beginning.
A reason for living.
A deeper meaning.
Chorus

I want to stand with you on a mountain.
I want to bathe with you in the sea.
I want to lay like this forever.
Until the sky falls down on me...
Verse 2

And when the stars are shining brightly
In the velvet sky,
I'll make a wish
Send it to heaven
Then make you want to cry..
The tears of joy
For all the pleasure and the certainty.
That we're surrounded
By the comfort and protection of..
The highest power.
In lonely hours.
The tears devour you..
I want to stand with you on a mountain,
I want to bathe with you in the sea.
I want to lay like this forever,
Until the sky falls down on me...
Bridge

Oh can't you see it baby?
You don't have to close your eyes
'Cos it's standing right before you.
All that you need will surely come...

I'll be your dream
I'll be your wish
I'll be your fantasy.
I'll be your hope
I'll be your love
Be everything that you need.
I'll love you more with every breath
Truly madly deeply do...
Chorus

Some of my favourite Jokes !!!

*Break Into the House*

A man went to the police station wishing to speak with the burglar who 

had broken into his house the night before.

"You'll get your chance in court," said the desk sergeant.

"No, no,no!" said the man. "I want to know how he got into the house 

without waking my wife. I`ve been trying to do that for years!"

***********

*Lost Wife*

The man approached a very beautiful woman in a large supermarket and 

asked,"You know, I've lost my wife here in the supermarket.

Can you talk to me for a couple of minutes?"

"Why?" she asks.

"Because every time I talk to a beautiful woman, my wife appears out of 

nowhere."

***********

*Teacher*

"If there are any idiots in the room, will they please stand up?" said 

the sarcastic teacher.

After a long silence, one freshman rose to his feet."Now then mister, 

why do you consider yourself an idiot?" enquired the teacher with a 

sneer.

"Well, actually I don't," said the student, "but I hate to see you 

standing up there all by yourself."

***********

*Hearing*

An elderly gentleman had serious hearing problems for a number of 

years.

He went to the doctor and the doctor was able to have him fitted for a 

set of hearing aids that allowed the gentleman to hear 100%.

The elderly gentleman went back in a month to the doctor and the doctor 

said, "Your hearing is perfect. Your family must be really pleased that 

you can hear again."

The gentleman replied, "Oh, I havn't told my family yet. I just sit 

around and listen to the conversations. I've changed my will three times!"

***********

*Wedding*

Attending a wedding for the first time, a little girl whispered to her 

mother, "Why is the bride dressed in white?"

"Because white is the color of happiness and today is the happiest day 

of her life." Her mother tried to explain, keeping it simple.

The child thought about this for a  moment,then said, " So, why is the 

groom wearing black?"

Unbelieveable is the Word

No history teacher told us the following( I suppose) ...

Abraham Lincoln was elected to Congress in 1846.

John F. Kennedy was elected to Congress in 1946.

Abraham Lincoln was elected President in 1860.

John F. Kennedy was elected President in 1960.

Both were particularly concerned with civil rights.

Both wives lost a child while living in the WhiteHouse.

Both Presidents were shot on a Friday.

Both Presidents were shot in the head.

Now it gets really weird.

Lincoln's secretary was named Kennedy.

Kennedy's Secretary was named Lincoln.

Both were assassinated by Southerners.

Both were succeeded by Southerners named Johnson.

Andrew Johnson, who succeeded Lincoln, was born in 1808

Lyndon Johnson, who succeeded Kennedy, was born in 1908

John Wilkes Booth, who assassinated Lincoln, was born 1839

Lee Harvey Oswald, who assassinated Kennedy, was born 1939

Both assassins were known by their three names.

Both names are composed of fifteen letters.

Now hang on to your seat !

Lincoln was shot at the theater named "Ford."

Kennedy was shot in a car called "Lincoln" made by "Ford."

Booth and Oswald were assassinated before their trials.

And here's the "kicker":

A week before Lincoln was shot, he was in Monroe,

Maryland.

A week before Kennedy was shot, he was with Marilyn

Monroe.

Lyrics of one of my most favourite song !!!

I got my first real six-string
Bought it at the five-and-dime
Played it 'til my fingers bled
It was summer of '69

Me and some guys from school
Had a Band and we tried real hard
Jimmy quit and Judy got married
I shualda known we'd never get far

Oh when I look back now
That summer seemes to last forever
And if I had the choice
Ya - I'd wanna be there
Those were the best days of my life

(CHORUS)

Ain't no use in complainin'
When you got a job to do
Spent my evenin's down at the drive in
And that's when I met you

Standin on a mama's porch
You told me that you'd wait forever
Oh and when you held my hand
I knew that it was no or never
Those were the best days of my life

(Chorus) Back in Summer of '69

Man we were killin' time
We were young and restless
We needed to unwind
I guess nothin' can last forever, no

And now the times are changin'
Look at everything that's come and gone
Somethimes when I play that old six-string
I think about ya wonder what went wrong

Standin' on a mama's porch
You told me it would last forever
Oh the way you held my hand
I knew that it was now or never
Those were the best days of my life

(Chorus) Back in summer of '69